The Republican National Committee has announced a major change at the RNC website. Out-of-Date banners, signs, logos and bumper stickers no longer reflecting GOP values will be removed indefinitely.
The move comes after the self-annointed True Leader of the Republican Party received a deluge of complaints on his nationally syndicated, top-rated decidedly non-mainstream, radio show about the apparently anti-GOP nature of some of these items.
Items removed or amended include slogans made famous over the past 8 years, including; America – Love it or Leave It, which has been revised to America – Love it or Threaten Secession. Other objectionable items included; America First, which has been changed to GOP first. and My Country Right or Wrong – which has been changed to My Country Right or Else. Freedom isn’t Free has been amended to Freedom isn’t Free – But I’m not Paying for it.
In a 180 degree about face the GOP leader now insists that it is Patriotic to actually hate America and to refer to the freely elected leader of the nation as YOUR PRESIDENT – NOT MINE. Previously Neo-Conservative mantra was one of total and absolute submission to the will of the ‘Sole Decider.’
Some new catchphrases being considered by the RNC include;
Get Off Of My Lawn You Pesky Kids,
For The Sake of The Party We Hope America Fails,
Jesus was a Statist,
The NEO GOP – Mud People Need Not Apply,
Party First, God Second, Country Third.
It’s Only Racist when YOU Say It.
When YOU Protest, You are a TRAITOR, When WE Protest, We Are PATRIOTS.
GOP insiders say internal debate is going on about whether it would be in the party’s interests to name The Leader as THEIR President of the United States. Constitutional experts John Ashcroft and Alberto Gonzalez are investigating whether or not the Constitution of the United States permits citizens dissatisfied with the nation to select an alternative President without any voting whatsoever to ensure that the voices of the electorate won’t be suppressed.
The concept of supporting the freely elected President of the United States has also been abandoned as a PATRIOTIC DUTY according to The Leader. In the neo-conservative rule book, it is clearly one’s PATRIOTIC DUTY to criticize the President of The United States and to wish him failure. In the past, opposition protesters who dared speak out against the President were deemed to be ‘empowering and emboldening our enemies’ thereby putting our brave servicemen at risk. Today, publicly denouncing the President and branding him a terrorist himself, is in clear support of our troops overseas, and will definitely NOT empower America’s enemies, the RNC website stated.
The RNC has also announced that is has officially ceded their claims to the moral and ethical high ground, arguing that since other people did not support the previous administration, that they are not obliged to do so either, despite their insistence that Republicans would NEVER ‘behave like them.’
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